New Paintjob
by IronhideFan1993
Summary: Ratchet is bored, bad news for an unsuspecting Weapons Specialist. NOW HAS BLOOPERS!
1. New Paintjob

**Author's note**: Hey everyone, I decided to re-write this story. Hope you like it =D

"Hello" Human talking.

"**Hello**" Autobot talking.

"_Hello_" Thoughts.

**Warnings** – Contains swearing and a little bit of slash.

It was a slow day at the Autobot base and Ratchet was bored out of his processor, he had done all the cleaning he needed to do before noon and no one had come in for repairs so he was left with nothing to do. Then he smirked as an idea came to him, and he hasn't done one in a long time, a prank. But who could he prank? He didn't want to get any of the younger Autobots so that narrowed it down, pranking Optimus wasn't a good idea so that narrowed it down even more. The Medic smirked, he knew the perfect bot to prank. But he had to be careful, if said bot sensed him approaching he won't be able to execute his prank "_So a cloaking device is the first thing I need_" he thought then smirked "_and a container of paint_" he got off his stool then walked to the supply room, the metal door swished open and Ratchet walked in. He found the colour he wanted and picked up the container, then he got a paintbrush that was clean and lastly he got a cloaking device. He put the paint container and brush in his subspace and activated his cloaking device that was designed to mask someone's Spark signature, with a nod he transformed down into his Alt mode which was a florescent lime green Hummer H2 Search and Rescue Sport Utility Truck and set off to where the unsuspected bot was located.

After a few minutes of driving to Rebecca's house he drove slower and more quiet as he knew his Bondmate had sensitive hearing, when he arrived he saw his Bondmate in his Alt mode which was a black GMC Topkick C4500. When there was no greeting from the black mech Ratchet checked though the Bond and was delighted to discover that his Mate was in Recharge "_Primus loves me_" he thought, now he had a small dilemma. He could either transform into his Bipedal mode or activate his holoform, both options had an advantage and a disadvantage. The advantage of being in Bipedal mode was the painting would be done quicker, but the disadvantage was Ironhide would more than likely hear him transform. Now the advantage of activating his holoform was he won't wake his Bondmate when he transformed, but the disadvantage was the painting would take longer. After a minute of contemplation he activated his holoform beside his Mate's Alt mode, his holoform looked just like his Bipedal mode but he was now 7ft 4inches tall. Ratchet quietly got out the container of paint and the paintbrush, he opened the container and checked through the Bond a few times to check his Bondmate didn't wake up as he did it. When he got the container open he picked up his paintbrush and dunked it into the paint, he started on the bonnet making sure to get all the black paint but not the headlights chrome or bumper. He heard his Bondmate purr and thought that he had woke him up, but after checking through the Bond he was relieved to feel that he was still in Recharge. After he finished with the front, he moved on to the doors on the driver's side, once again making sure to cover all the black paint. Then he moved onto the truck bed, he painted the outside of it then slowly and carefully climbed into the bed itself and painted the roof of his Bondmate's Alt mode "_How 'Hide hasn't woke up yet I'll never know_" he thought as he started to paint the inside of the truck bed "_he sure is a heavy sleeper_" once he had finished he slowly and carefully climbed out the truck bed, the bright side about the paint was that it dried quickly and didn't need and extra layer so to speak. Finally he had finished and took a few steps back to admire his work, he smirked then walked to his Alt mode and put the paint pot and paintbrush in the back. His holoform fizzled out and his engine started, he reversed out the driveway and drove back to base grinning internally all the way.

Two hours later Ironhide came out of Recharge, because he was comfortable he decided to stay in his Alt mode to wait for his Charge who was watching Spongebob Squarepants, or as he had dubbed it 'That obnoxious yellow sponge'.

Rebecca stood up when the show had finished and stretched "_Time to see if 'Hide's woken up yet_" she thought, after making sure she had her phone she walked outside. When she got outside she stared at her Guardian in shock, he had been painted sunflower yellow.

Ironhide saw the shocked look on his Charge's face "**What's up kid?**" he asked.

At first Rebecca didn't answer then she burst out laughing.

'Hide was taken aback "**What's so funny?**" he asked.

The girl couldn't answer, she just pointed to him and doubled over laughing.

Poor Ironhide was so confused "**What's so funny?**" he asked.

Rebecca managed to recover from laughing and wiped her eyes, she walked over to her Guardian and patted his bonnet "Nothin'" she replied then giggled "nothin' at all"

'Hide sighed "**Whatever**" he replied "**let's go to base**" he opened his driver's side door for his Charge.

The girl got into her Guardian and closed the door, the seatbelt secured her and the radio came on. But when _Wiz Khalfia – Black and yellow_ came on she burst out laughing again.

Ironhide sighed "_Just don't ask her 'Hide_" he thought.

Ten minutes later they arrived outside the Autobot base, Bumblebee heard his Guardian pull up outside and decided to go greet them. So he got up then walked to the entrance of the base, when he got outside Ironhide had just transformed into his Bipedal mode. Bee stopped in his tracks and looked at his Guardian in shock, all the plating that was black had been painted sunflower yellow but the head was still black.

Ironhide frowned when his Youngling double over laughing "**What's so funny Younglin'?**" he asked.

"_Oh Primus he doesn't know!_" the yellow mech thought as he laughed all the more.

Jazz came out to see who was laughing, when he saw it was Bumblebee he asked "**Yo Bee what's so-**" he stopped when he saw Ironhide painted sunflower yellow "**oh holy Primus!**" he exclaimed then doubled over laughing.

Rebecca laughed at the confused look on her Guardian's face, he truly had no idea his paintjob had changed.

Ironhide just shook his helm then walked into the base, he saw his Bondmate and Optimus "**Hey**" he greeted.

The Prime looked at his friend "**Hel-**" he started to say but stopped when he saw that 'Hide's paintjob had changed, he tried to keep a straight face but couldn't and burst out laughing.

Ratchet laughed along with him "_He has no clue!_" he thought, he could feel his Bondmate's _Confusion_ over the Bond which made him laugh more.

Ironhide was so confused it was unbelievable, he heard Bumblebee Rebecca and Jazz walk in still laughing. Finally he lost his patience "**What the f**k is so funny?!**" he asked clearly irritated and exasperated.

Optimus regained his composure and looked at his friend "**I think someone wanted to give you a new paintjob my friend**" he replied with a smirk.

'Hide looked puzzled "**What the hell are you talkin' about Prime?**" he asked.

"**You're sunflower yellow**" Bumblebee replied.

Ironhide frowned then looked down and gaped, all the plating that was black was now sunflower yellow "**What the f**k?!**" he exclaimed sending Bumblebee and Jazz into another laughing fit.

Ratchet smirked clearly proud of himself.

'Hide growled "**Alright which pit-slagger decided to do this?**" he asked looking at Bumblebee and Jazz who were still laughing.

Bee shook his helm "**It wasn't us 'Hide**" he managed to say.

The sunflower yellow mech narrowed his good optic at them "**You sure you pair didn't have anythin' to do with this?**" he asked gesturing to himself.

Jazz lifted his visor and wiped his optics "**We're sure**" he replied "**we've been here tha whole time**"

Bumblebee nodded in agreement "**I've been in my quarters most of the day**" he added.

Ironhide looked at them and could tell they were telling the truth "_So it wasn't Bumblebee or Jazz_" he thought "_maybe it was Rebecca_" he looked at his Charge.

Rebecca shook her head "Wasn't me 'Hide" she said "you'd have sensed me approaching"

'Hide nodded "_Rebecca's right_" he thought "_I would have sensed her_" next he looked at Optimus who shook his helm.

"**I have been in my quarters most of the day**" he said.

The old warrior could tell his friend was telling the truth so that left one person, he spotted his Bondmate trying to sneak away. He went up behind him and wrapped his arms round his midsection "**Oh no you don't Medic**" he said with a smirk "**you did this didn't you?**"

Ratchet tried to look innocent but failed "**Why would I do such a thing like that?**" he asked with a smirk.

"**'****Cause I know you**" Ironhide replied "**when you're bored you pull a prank**"

The Medic laughed "**Ok I did it**" he said.

'Hide couldn't help but laugh "**You sneaky git**" he replied "**how did I not sense ya?**"

Ratchet showed him the cloaking device "**Cloaking device**" he replied "**it was pure luck that you were in Recharge**" he smirked "**you're a pretty heavy sleeper 'Hide, you didn't even wake up when I was in your truck bed**"

Ironhide shrugged "**I was tired**" he said then let go of his Bondmate and looked down at himself again "**I'd better get this paint off**"

The florescent lime green mech smirked "**Why?**" he asked "**it suits you**"

'Hide gave his Mate a mock glare "**Shut it**" he replied.

Ratchet laughed then put an arm round his midsection "**C'mon**" he said "**let's get you cleaned up**" then he said through the Bond "and I'll give you a 'gift' as my way of apologising" he projected his _Arousal _through the Bond.

Ironhide smirked "You read my mind like a book" he replied though the Bond then put an arm round his Bondmate's shoulders and started to walk to the wash racks "_but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna get my revenge Ratch_" he thought with a smirk.

**The End**

Woo! It's done! =D

Be sure to review!


	2. Bloopers!

**Author's note**: Woooo! Bloopers! Enjoy! =D

"Hello" Human talking.

"**Hello**" Autobot talking.

Credit to **Beowolf's Pen** for the first blooper! =D

**Blooper 1**

The metal door swished open and Ratchet walked in. He found the colour he wanted and picked up the container, but the lid came off and sunflower yellow paint went all over the Medic "**AH! Primus!**" he exclaimed stumbling out the supply room.

The crew laughed "Nice one Ratch" IronhideFan1993 said after she recovered from laughing "go to the wash racks so you can clean up"

Ratchet sighed then walked out the Medbay to the wash racks.

**Blooper 2**

Ratchet quietly got out the container of paint and the paintbrush, he opened the container but it wouldn't open. He tried again but still no success "**I can't open it**" he said.

Ironhide laughed "**I super glued the lid shut**" he replied.

The crew laughed.

The Medic playfully swatted his Bondmate's bonnet "**Very funny 'Hide**" he replied.

**Blooper 3**

When he got the container open he picked up his paintbrush and dunked it into the paint, he started on the bonnet making sure to get all the black paint but not the headlights chrome or bumper, then he felt his Bondmate shudder a little and chuckled "**'Hide keep still**" he said.

Ironhide chuckled "**It tickles**" he replied.

The crew laughed.

**Blooper 4**

Then he moved onto the truck bed, he painted the outside of it then slowly and carefully climbed into the bed itself. Well he would have if he didn't lose his footing and fall onto the ground, he got up and brushed the dirt off his armour. He saw his Bondmate shudder a little trying to keep his laughter in, he playfully swatted his truck bed "**Not funny**" he said with a smirk.

'Hide burst out laughing.

**Blooper 5**

Ironhide saw the shocked look on his Charge's face "**What's up kod?**" he asked then laughed "**I said 'kod' instead of 'kid'**"

Rebecca laughed.

**Blooper 6**

Rebecca managed to recover from laughing and wiped her eyes, she walked over to her Guardian. She tripped and laughed "Sorry" she said.

Ironhide chuckled "**Let's go again**" he said.

**Blooper 7**

Jazz came out to see who was laughing, when he saw it was Bumblebee he asked "**Yo Boo what's so-**" he laughed "**ah meant Bee**"

Ironhide chuckled "**I'd like to get this done so I can get this paint washed off**" he said with a smirk.

"It suits ya 'Hide" Rebecca replied then giggled.

'Hide gave his Charge a mock glare.

**Blooper 8**

Optimus regained his composure and looked at his friend "**I think someone wanted to give you a new blowjob-**" he put his hands over his mouth as everyone went into hysterical laughter.

Bumblebee and Jazz had to lean against the doorway of the hanger as they were laughing so much.

Ironhide wasn't better off, he had ended up on his hands and knees and was lightly punching the ground as tears rolled down his cheek plates from laughing so hard "**Oh Primus!**" he managed to say.

Ratchet had to lean against Optimus he was laughing so hard.

Poor Prime looked so embarrassed.

**Blooper 9**

Bumblebee nodded in agreement "**I've been in my quarters most of the night-no it's day**" he chuckled wearily.

Ironhide playfully did a strangling motion "**Stop cockin' up**" he said with a smirk.

Bee laughed "**Sorry 'Hide**" he replied.

IronhideFan1993 giggled "Let's do another take" she said.

**Blooper 10**

Rebecca shook her head "Wasn't me 'Hide" she said "you'd have sonsed-" she laughed "I meant sensed"

Jazz and Bumblebee laughed and Ironhide chuckled.

**Blooper 11**

The old warrior could tell his friend was telling the truth so that left one person, he spotted his Bondmate trying to sneak away. He went up behind him but ended up tripping, he laughed "**Sorry, let's do that again**" he said walking back to his original position.

**Blooper 12**

Ratchet tried to look innocent but failed "**Why would I do such a ting-**" he laughed "**I meant thing**"

Ironhide chuckled.

**Blooper 13**

Ironhide smirked "You read my mind like a book" he replied though the Bond then put an arm round his Bondmate's shoulders and started to walk to the wash racks "_but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna get my revenge Ratch_" he thought with a smirk.

"Ok cut" IronhideFan1993 said with a smile "nice one guys"

"**Yes! I can finally get this paint off!**" Ironhide exclaimed then jogged to the wash racks.

The others laughed.

**The End**

Admit it, the 8th Blooper had you in tears from laughing so hard ;)

Be sure to review! =D


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